Today was pretty dicey. On the plus side, I had great energy this morning and in the afternoon. I haven't felt achy either. On the negative side, I couldn't do anything with my energy because I had to be close to the bathroom. I don't know why, but post-SWF "cleansing" took forever today. There were nearly four hours where I felt like I couldn't leave the house just in case. So that was a real bummer since I felt so good.
Early evening I went to the mall with a friend and was gone about two hours. By the time I got back I was in dire need of some limeade, and I felt cranky and sort of emotional/frustrated. Two separate opportunities to go out to dinner, and I had to miss it. For what? To sit and read in my room? Lame and boring.
Back to the pluses though, today marks the halfway point. I was being kind of pitiful to my parents when they got back from dinner, and they confided that they thought I'd only last two days, so they were already impressed. That's the kind of thing that motivates though-- people thinking you can't do something.
I know I'll absolutely make it 10 days; I wouldn't have started a blog if I thought I'd fail. At this point I'm hoping I feel like I actually can stop at 10 days. I mean that in two ways. a) I've read about what you're supposed to expel from your body while on the Cleanse, and I very much want that to happen. It's one of the primary reasons I'm doing this. So if my body needs more than 10 days to do it, then I will continue to do this for more than 10 days. Although I can't foresee 20. That would be bonkers for me. And, b) I don't want to stop this before I feel like I truly have a grip on how I want to proceed. It's almost silly how much easier it is to have self-control when you have such restriction. People keep telling me they could "never" do this, but to me this is waaaaaay easier than figuring out how to 1) avoid processed food 2) eat smaller portions 3) avoid too much caffeine, sugar, alcohol, meat, dairy, etc . Thinking about post-cleanse is scary because I don't wanna fuck it up. Doing this is a big step in the right direction toward better health, and I don't want to back peddle. Tonight I was around both beer and pizza, and of course I wanted both. Everyone else was having both. In two weeks when I'm not doing this anymore, handling those types of situations will be more difficult than it was tonight. And tonight it was difficult.
The best thing I can do is keep reading books and articles that reaffirm what I'm doing, and keep myself motivated. I've certainly never felt this motivated before.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Day Four- Smooth Sailing
I feel like I don't have much to say about today other than it was pretty decent. It wasn't anything like yesterday. I woke up starving though. So I think I've probably had more limeade in days past. I feel like limes have more juice in them than lemons despite being smaller. I seem to go through less of them when I juice.
I have to make a confession though. Like I said I woke up hungry and while I was making a batch of limeade I licked the maple syrup spoon. More than once. It tasted magnificent. hahaha. Is that cheating? I don't know, but I don't regret it.
I also thought I might add something I've been doing basically every day so far. I don't know if you've ever seen the glorious cultural nugget that is Wife Swap, but it never fails to entertain. I saw this episode once about this raw-vegan lady in Arizona who thought staring at the sun & sunbathing was a natural cure for world hunger. She did it everyday for hours, and talked about how she realized she couldn't sustain herself on sun alone, but if she could she would. I scoured the internet this afternoon looking for a clip, but to no avail. Anyway...
This episode popped into my head the other day while I was lying in the grass with my dog. Even though sunbathing as a cure to world hunger is about the stupidest crock of shit thing I have ever heard, I do think there is a bit of valid advice in suggesting fellow master cleansers sunbathe a little. Who wants to eat after being hot or in the sun? No one. I also just feel like it invigorates me a little. I don't do it for very long (primarily because I am pasty), but also the sun can be draining. However, thirty minutes makes me feel better and more awake.
One thing about today (and actually last night as I was trying to go to bed) is I have been having some serious cravings. I haven't considered actually eating, my "food noise" hasn't gotten that bad yet, but more just food fantasizing. Let me tell you, when this whole thing is said and done and I can handle dairy again, I cannot wait to make a sandwich on grainy, crusty bread with juicy tomatoes, balsamic & oil, ripped basil and smokey mozzarella. Oh, with a little salt & pepper too. It's on my mind like whoa. Doesn't that sound delicious?
Time to go drink my tea...
I have to make a confession though. Like I said I woke up hungry and while I was making a batch of limeade I licked the maple syrup spoon. More than once. It tasted magnificent. hahaha. Is that cheating? I don't know, but I don't regret it.
I also thought I might add something I've been doing basically every day so far. I don't know if you've ever seen the glorious cultural nugget that is Wife Swap, but it never fails to entertain. I saw this episode once about this raw-vegan lady in Arizona who thought staring at the sun & sunbathing was a natural cure for world hunger. She did it everyday for hours, and talked about how she realized she couldn't sustain herself on sun alone, but if she could she would. I scoured the internet this afternoon looking for a clip, but to no avail. Anyway...
This episode popped into my head the other day while I was lying in the grass with my dog. Even though sunbathing as a cure to world hunger is about the stupidest crock of shit thing I have ever heard, I do think there is a bit of valid advice in suggesting fellow master cleansers sunbathe a little. Who wants to eat after being hot or in the sun? No one. I also just feel like it invigorates me a little. I don't do it for very long (primarily because I am pasty), but also the sun can be draining. However, thirty minutes makes me feel better and more awake.
One thing about today (and actually last night as I was trying to go to bed) is I have been having some serious cravings. I haven't considered actually eating, my "food noise" hasn't gotten that bad yet, but more just food fantasizing. Let me tell you, when this whole thing is said and done and I can handle dairy again, I cannot wait to make a sandwich on grainy, crusty bread with juicy tomatoes, balsamic & oil, ripped basil and smokey mozzarella. Oh, with a little salt & pepper too. It's on my mind like whoa. Doesn't that sound delicious?
Time to go drink my tea...
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Day Three - The Day I've Been Dreading Most
The moment I woke up I knew today would be harder. What's really interesting about it though is that it literally has NOTHING to do with food. What it had to do with today was just feeling crappy. It may have started last night though...
I drank my laxative tea too early last night and stayed up too late. As a result, I got hungry before falling asleep, and opted for a second cup of tea because I was out of lemonade. Early this morning, I was awoken by stomach gurgling. After spending some quality time in the bathroom I went back to bed and didn't move again till almost one (I usually wake up around 10:30). Getting out of bed was hard. I felt achy and weak.
The SWF seemed saltier today, but that could be my imagination. My brother was a nice guy and went to the store for me to get more water. The limes taste a little better to me than lemon, but I would say that any day of the week in any context comparing the two.
Pause.
I have yet to touch the "what goes on in the bathroom topic" and ya know, I'd like to be a lady and such, but I feel like everyone I talk to about the Cleanse asks me about it. It's also what I was curious about before starting the Cleanse. So, I'm about to talk about it. You've been warned.
The next several hours consisted of me moving from my bed to the bathroom. I don't want that to sound too dramatic though: my bed was made, I was having fine conversations with people on facebook or watching TV, but I had zero desire to move. And the bathroom situation extended at least an hour longer than it has in previous days and at this point there is nothing newly solid in me, it's basically just lemonade. It's literally like the sun shines (falls?) out of my ass.
Taking a jacuzzi bath made me feel a lot better though and by five o'clock I was ready to be a somewhat normal person. That's about the time I had my first glass of limeade. Earlier I had just been drinking water because I felt so dehydrated. The limeade really feels nourishing though.
There was no cooking going on in my house tonight, and it was nice not to have to see or smell food or feel like I was missing out on something. Late this evening, I was a little bit weary about driving to go to the movies, but I felt fine when it was time to do it. I drank limeade on the way there and water during. While there, I noticed I have a really achy lower back. I was calling the problem my kidneys, but let's be honest, I have no idea where those really are. It still kinda hurts, but it's a little more dull.
One more thing I feel like I need to mention is the whole situation that is my mouth. My teeth feel like they're covered in a fleece blanket. Same could be said about my tongue really. It's covered in white gookiness. Very gross, but apparently normal. Toxins leaving?
I've read things about day four being hard as well. I'm expecting more aches and pains, but hoping for more energy than I had today.
I drank my laxative tea too early last night and stayed up too late. As a result, I got hungry before falling asleep, and opted for a second cup of tea because I was out of lemonade. Early this morning, I was awoken by stomach gurgling. After spending some quality time in the bathroom I went back to bed and didn't move again till almost one (I usually wake up around 10:30). Getting out of bed was hard. I felt achy and weak.
The SWF seemed saltier today, but that could be my imagination. My brother was a nice guy and went to the store for me to get more water. The limes taste a little better to me than lemon, but I would say that any day of the week in any context comparing the two.
Pause.
I have yet to touch the "what goes on in the bathroom topic" and ya know, I'd like to be a lady and such, but I feel like everyone I talk to about the Cleanse asks me about it. It's also what I was curious about before starting the Cleanse. So, I'm about to talk about it. You've been warned.
The next several hours consisted of me moving from my bed to the bathroom. I don't want that to sound too dramatic though: my bed was made, I was having fine conversations with people on facebook or watching TV, but I had zero desire to move. And the bathroom situation extended at least an hour longer than it has in previous days and at this point there is nothing newly solid in me, it's basically just lemonade. It's literally like the sun shines (falls?) out of my ass.
Taking a jacuzzi bath made me feel a lot better though and by five o'clock I was ready to be a somewhat normal person. That's about the time I had my first glass of limeade. Earlier I had just been drinking water because I felt so dehydrated. The limeade really feels nourishing though.
There was no cooking going on in my house tonight, and it was nice not to have to see or smell food or feel like I was missing out on something. Late this evening, I was a little bit weary about driving to go to the movies, but I felt fine when it was time to do it. I drank limeade on the way there and water during. While there, I noticed I have a really achy lower back. I was calling the problem my kidneys, but let's be honest, I have no idea where those really are. It still kinda hurts, but it's a little more dull.
One more thing I feel like I need to mention is the whole situation that is my mouth. My teeth feel like they're covered in a fleece blanket. Same could be said about my tongue really. It's covered in white gookiness. Very gross, but apparently normal. Toxins leaving?
I've read things about day four being hard as well. I'm expecting more aches and pains, but hoping for more energy than I had today.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Day Two - It’s Getting Easier?
This morning was at least a little bit easier. The SWF took less than 15 minutes, but more than 10. I gagged once, but not to the point of actually throwing it up-out of my mouth. I got it down. I only made half a batch of lemonade today (30 ounces) which if you’re keep track is less than the SWF, but I had probably 15 ounces leftover from yesterday. Tomorrow I will try limes!
As far as me goes, I’m really up and down. I was awesome during the day. I wasn't even “hungry for lemonade" until after one o’clock. I was laying really low--- hanging out with Dixie, interneting, reading and sitting in the sun. Around 4ish I had to drive to Elgin to the new Outback I’ll be working at. There was traffic there and back, and by the time I got home (quarter to six) I felt pretty wiped. Like a 65 percent wiped, I'd say. I was hungry and lightheaded. Really though, drinking the lemonade gets me back to good. Within the hour, I felt all right again. I should know better than to leave the house without the lemonade or at least water. I’ll remember next time.
The lack of dinner time is kinda killer though. The biggest thing is smelling it. Attack of the senses! I want, I want, I want goes through my mind. The thing is though in stopping and asking myself “Am I really hungry?” the answer was no. I had drank lemonade roughly 15 minutes before the smells hit. So it’s nothing I couldn’t handle, but an hour later when I went to get more lemonade, I saw cheeseburgers. There they were just sitting on the island awaiting my brother’s return from work. I definitely pouted as I poured my lemonade, but no harm, no foul. Later on, I actually saw my brother eating french fries and could smell the greasy goodness. My point is seeing and smelling food makes me want, want, want. No doubt, that’s when the cravings are most intense. This would be much easier if I still lived alone without the temptations staring me in the face...
Or would it? The fact that all three members of my family are verbally supportive helps a lot. I appreciate that when I ask my brother “how do those fries taste?” He tells me they taste terrible and to leave the room. My mom suggested I chew gum and I’ve been considering it (especially because of the intense citrus-sour breath I’ve been noticing, ugh) but I’ve not gotten that desperate yet. Tomorrow? We’ll see. I’m going to have to go to the grocery store for more filtered water, and it might stare me in the face.
As far as me goes, I’m really up and down. I was awesome during the day. I wasn't even “hungry for lemonade" until after one o’clock. I was laying really low--- hanging out with Dixie, interneting, reading and sitting in the sun. Around 4ish I had to drive to Elgin to the new Outback I’ll be working at. There was traffic there and back, and by the time I got home (quarter to six) I felt pretty wiped. Like a 65 percent wiped, I'd say. I was hungry and lightheaded. Really though, drinking the lemonade gets me back to good. Within the hour, I felt all right again. I should know better than to leave the house without the lemonade or at least water. I’ll remember next time.
The lack of dinner time is kinda killer though. The biggest thing is smelling it. Attack of the senses! I want, I want, I want goes through my mind. The thing is though in stopping and asking myself “Am I really hungry?” the answer was no. I had drank lemonade roughly 15 minutes before the smells hit. So it’s nothing I couldn’t handle, but an hour later when I went to get more lemonade, I saw cheeseburgers. There they were just sitting on the island awaiting my brother’s return from work. I definitely pouted as I poured my lemonade, but no harm, no foul. Later on, I actually saw my brother eating french fries and could smell the greasy goodness. My point is seeing and smelling food makes me want, want, want. No doubt, that’s when the cravings are most intense. This would be much easier if I still lived alone without the temptations staring me in the face...
Or would it? The fact that all three members of my family are verbally supportive helps a lot. I appreciate that when I ask my brother “how do those fries taste?” He tells me they taste terrible and to leave the room. My mom suggested I chew gum and I’ve been considering it (especially because of the intense citrus-sour breath I’ve been noticing, ugh) but I’ve not gotten that desperate yet. Tomorrow? We’ll see. I’m going to have to go to the grocery store for more filtered water, and it might stare me in the face.
Day One and Still Standing
I woke up hungry, but excited to start this whole thing. First thing’s first: the salt water flush (SWF). An entire QUART of water with two teaspoons sea salt. Ughhhhh. I’m shuddering at the thought. There’s no mincing words about it: the taste is horrendous. Perhaps the worst beverage I’ve ever consumed, and there is just so much of it. 32 ounces! That’s four glasses of water! It took me 15 minutes and two stifled gags to get it down, but I did. And I felt fucking proud of myself for it. During the water drinking, I was making the “lemonade”-- 3/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice, 3/4 cup organic maple syrup, 60 ounces of water and a half teaspoon of cayenne. The first glass tasted great.
The first few hours weren’t too bad. It was really the only time my stomach growled today. I can’t say I haven’t been hungry, that’d be a lie, but it’s not unbearable hunger. It’s more similar to that dull, nagging hunger you get in-between meals. It’s there and it is real and it could probably be satisfied by a snack, but if you occupy yourself, you can ignore it.
So to occupy myself today, I went to the book store with my brother (I picked up In Defense of Food and Naturally Thin to keep me reminded of why I am doing this--- to get the processed poison OUT). Unfortunately, after the book store my brother was hungry, and he was hungry for Chipotle (forehead smack). So naturally I bitched a little, but ultimately, people eat food. It’s gonna happen and the only thing I can control is what I do. I stayed in the car while he got it and I never saw him eat it when we got home. Several hours later though, I had to endure the delicious smells of pork chops emanate up to my room. That was significantly more difficult to bare than the Chipotle. No doubt. But I just stayed in my room.
Drinking the lemonade tonight was harder than this morning. The cayenne kick is hitting the back of my throat, the acid from the lemonade is starting to affect my tongue as well as offering some slight acid reflux. I don’t find it very encouraging. The senna tea though is pretty mellow and pleasant. It has a lovely, mentholly finish that was really refreshing.
I have a dull headache at the moment, which is supposedly a normal side affect. Overall though, I don’t feel bad and my mind is very clear about the goal in mind. They say if you can make it through the first three days, you can do it. Most people apparently don’t survive day one; presumably because of the SWF, but I don’t know.
The key to tomorrow is staying positive and occupied. I think I can handle it.
(Originally written 8/10/09)
The first few hours weren’t too bad. It was really the only time my stomach growled today. I can’t say I haven’t been hungry, that’d be a lie, but it’s not unbearable hunger. It’s more similar to that dull, nagging hunger you get in-between meals. It’s there and it is real and it could probably be satisfied by a snack, but if you occupy yourself, you can ignore it.
So to occupy myself today, I went to the book store with my brother (I picked up In Defense of Food and Naturally Thin to keep me reminded of why I am doing this--- to get the processed poison OUT). Unfortunately, after the book store my brother was hungry, and he was hungry for Chipotle (forehead smack). So naturally I bitched a little, but ultimately, people eat food. It’s gonna happen and the only thing I can control is what I do. I stayed in the car while he got it and I never saw him eat it when we got home. Several hours later though, I had to endure the delicious smells of pork chops emanate up to my room. That was significantly more difficult to bare than the Chipotle. No doubt. But I just stayed in my room.
Drinking the lemonade tonight was harder than this morning. The cayenne kick is hitting the back of my throat, the acid from the lemonade is starting to affect my tongue as well as offering some slight acid reflux. I don’t find it very encouraging. The senna tea though is pretty mellow and pleasant. It has a lovely, mentholly finish that was really refreshing.
I have a dull headache at the moment, which is supposedly a normal side affect. Overall though, I don’t feel bad and my mind is very clear about the goal in mind. They say if you can make it through the first three days, you can do it. Most people apparently don’t survive day one; presumably because of the SWF, but I don’t know.
The key to tomorrow is staying positive and occupied. I think I can handle it.
(Originally written 8/10/09)
Deciding to Take on The Master Cleanse
Deciding to take on the Master Cleanse was somewhat sudden. I stumbled upon someone’s blog, and among Sayward's posts of homemade deodorant and vegan cooking was also the documentation of her first Master Cleanse. I read the whole thing in the time I was waiting to be picked up for a thrift store venture. I’m glad my friend was late.
I hemmed and hawed over whether or not I thought I’d be able to pull it off. I mean ten days. No food. Conceptually for anyone I think that is intimidating, but also, I make no secret about my love of food. Cooking, reading food blogs, going out to eat and of course, eating are in my top hobbies, but reading over the alleged benefits of the Master Cleanse was alluring. Alluring, while also sounding physiologically disgusting... but it's in that grossly fascinating kind of way. Learning what my body has been storing and now what it could potentially expel? Sign me up. I need an experiment and I want the poison out.
At this time in my life, I've currently got nothing but time on my hands. To me, this is a spectacular time to mentally and physically test and improve upon my own self-discipline.
In addition to harnessing some self-control, the primary goal in all of this is to wipe the slate clean. Cleanse my body, listen to it throughout this process and reintroduce myself to a new way of eating. Going on a ten day fast (hopefully) means you don’t leap back into mindless eating, emotional eating and boredom eating. The time out from food means time to map out the role food should play in my life. I’m excited about it. I’m also hoping for the other byproducts that accompany the Master Cleanse which include weight loss, increased energy, clearer skin, relief of minor body pains, a better palate, etc.
Post-cleanse I'm hoping to guide this toward being a food blog. I think it's only a matter of time before an aspiring foodie and cooking enthusiast puts fingers to the keyboard and goes for it. We'll see how it all develops.
(originally written 8/9/09)
I hemmed and hawed over whether or not I thought I’d be able to pull it off. I mean ten days. No food. Conceptually for anyone I think that is intimidating, but also, I make no secret about my love of food. Cooking, reading food blogs, going out to eat and of course, eating are in my top hobbies, but reading over the alleged benefits of the Master Cleanse was alluring. Alluring, while also sounding physiologically disgusting... but it's in that grossly fascinating kind of way. Learning what my body has been storing and now what it could potentially expel? Sign me up. I need an experiment and I want the poison out.
At this time in my life, I've currently got nothing but time on my hands. To me, this is a spectacular time to mentally and physically test and improve upon my own self-discipline.
In addition to harnessing some self-control, the primary goal in all of this is to wipe the slate clean. Cleanse my body, listen to it throughout this process and reintroduce myself to a new way of eating. Going on a ten day fast (hopefully) means you don’t leap back into mindless eating, emotional eating and boredom eating. The time out from food means time to map out the role food should play in my life. I’m excited about it. I’m also hoping for the other byproducts that accompany the Master Cleanse which include weight loss, increased energy, clearer skin, relief of minor body pains, a better palate, etc.
Post-cleanse I'm hoping to guide this toward being a food blog. I think it's only a matter of time before an aspiring foodie and cooking enthusiast puts fingers to the keyboard and goes for it. We'll see how it all develops.
(originally written 8/9/09)
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